Pensamentos soltos

Quanto mais conscientes das fragilidades, medos e inseguranças da nossa própria natureza (e alheia), menos dispostos e menos disponíveis estaremos para abraçá-las. Será a racionalidade um impedimento natural para as relações dependentes de outro?

About Ukraine

I tried really hard to understand what is really happening in Ukraine and why. Wasn’t easy start to get some ideas, the mídia doesn’t help and some people are defending in so fancy way their views, that “to filter” facts and reasons are really hard. But not that hard when the purposes get clear.

That didn't start because of Crimea. Was a bit before, when Ukraine starts to “flirt” with EU, to join them.

As an alternative, (since some people doesn't want to join EU) Crimea asks for independence – asking help from Russia. Not to many choices at that point... be independent from Ukraine or join Russia to avoid be part of EU.

Makes sense, when we understand the reasons to avoid be part of EU. In the present moment this subject about Ukraine be part of EU are not in the “top” of discussions, thanks to people from Crimea. EU and USA have to wait a bit to start that subject again, and I believe we all know they are working on that.

In resume, Russia have Just a small part in this scenario. If the people in Ukraine would  be able to choose independence from EU and also from Russia at the same time, I believe they would to that. But what choice they have?

The EU played well a very smart game, bringing many countries to join them and we can see how these countries are now, what they lost and what they have gain. Very well played, EU, indeed. How many people died in this game, or lost everything they had before, history may tell one day. How much that countries who joined EU has lost? How dependent they are now from EU? History will tell us one day.

I really don't expect any awareness from the people in power representing EU and USA interests, they are more motivated to play their game – and for sure they will. What I pray for, is for people who are there now, making part of this stupidity and fighting against themselves for the benefits of the big players. They won’t win, doesn't matter how all this will end. And we all should know that.

What to do? How to stop this nonsense? STOP FIGHTING! STOP BE AGAINST EACH OTHER!

There is NO DEMOCRACY joining EU. There is no democracy killing russians or ukrainians. It is just a game of interests to the big ones. Be united and against the people out of your frontiers. Be united for the people, not for another government, but just for your own people. They want you to fight, they want you to kill - this is what they want you to do – fight, be fragile and poor and than you will have no better choice then join someone stronger then you – to give them all the power and money that they want.

If all this scenario of fight just disappear, if everybody really stop fighting, you can be stronger to decide your own future. You don't need Russia, EU or USA telling you what you should do. You must know better than that.

How many countries after joined EU starts to get a crisis much bigger than they had before? Why be in the hands of powerful people, if you can be in your own hands?

The government in Ukraine sucks? So make a revolution to change your own government, not to get a government even worse than yours... Fight the good fight, for your own people, for your own country, for your own independence and sustainability.

Not with guns – guns is exactly what they want.

Not with anger between yourselves...

You are such a great people, who already suffer so much in history... this can be a different time, a better time. Take it out this ambitious people in power who just want money and more and more power. I’m sure there people there with you who will try to make a government for the people, not for another governments...

Let me know about Santa...

I was thinking a lot these days (I’m always thinking a lot…), and not because it’s Christmas and all of that… It’s because of people (like always…).

Why we celebrate Christmas after all? Shouldn’t be because Jesus was born and to celebrate life, love, and all these things? Well, if we have a religion (catholic one), we should be celebrating that – Jesus was born.

If we don’t have a catholic religion, and we celebrate Christmas any way, probably we should celebrate a time of love or something like that.

Are we doing that? Really???

I only see people worried about the gifts that they should be buying, the food that they should cook, etc. etc. etc.

What are we celebrating, after all? Maybe we are celebrating our shopping ability or something similar as far as I see… Maybe our ability to expend money and show how much money we did during the year…

Maybe I’m getting old, too old to be quiet and sweet about all these muss that we do, when I think (and I must say that I think a lot, for bad and for good) that in the middle of all this economic  crises, all this Christmas lights and shine gifts papers and ribbons are taking too much space, in a place that should be more love and peace instead gifts and coins.

What is Christmas for these days?

Do we need a day to celebrate love, peace or the birth of Jesus? Shouldn’t be all days this celebration?

Maybe we should declare a war day, and in that day we all can fight, buy gifts, spend tons of money and so on, and keep all the other days to celebrate life, a real life, a life made with small moments of peace, love, simple things, hugs, laughs, happiness.

It’s strange that we need a day to celebrate things that we should be living every day, our time with family and friends, our ability to share and be grateful for everything that we have.

Yeah… thinking a bit more about us and the way that we live our lives these days, in fact we really need a day to remember all this… or we will never get all this back, neither for a day.

É preciso dizer

É preciso dizer

É preciso dizer que eu não sei... tenho agora talvez mais respostas do que perguntas, e ainda não sei...

Não sei como ou qual será o amanhã, de onde ele virá ou como terminará.

Não sei sequer sobre o que eu vejo, o que me parece as vezes tão cruel ou superficial... quem sou eu afinal para saber? Eu não sei...

Não sei sobre qual essa força tamanha que impulsiona as pessoas a quererem mais, ter mais, quando parecem não querer a consciência de que estão a tirar de alguém... será que não sabem?

Não sei sobre esse mundo, esse mundo que não é outro além de um que nós próprios criamos, escolhemos e permanecemos a escolher dia após dia... eu não sei...

Não sei sobre o amor ao próximo, que parece trancafiado em caixas de televisão, onde fica fácil ter-se compaixão pelo sofrimento que só de longe e superficialmente assistimos.

Não sei sobre as escolhas do dia a dia, aquelas escolhas pequeninas, que preferimos não dar atenção, importância ou dar nossa consciência, quando escolhemos passar alheios pelas ruas sem ver o sofrimento nos olhos que cruzam os nossos tantas e tantas vezes por dia... eu não sei...

Não sei por que tanto estranham o facto de eu sorrir. Não deveria eu sorrir, tendo eu tão menos problemas do que aqueles que não comem, que não tem abrigo ou calor, que podem nem mesmo ter saúde, amigos, ou alguma esperança no amanhã? Eu não sei... eu não compreendo...

Não compreendo a ganância, quando alguém ao nosso lado pode precisar de algo mais do que nós.

Não compreendo mais a gula, quando alguém tem o estômago a doer com fome. Não compreendo carros de luxo, quando para alguém falta cadeira de rodas. Não compreendo jóias, ostentação, roupas de marca, sapatos... quando para alguém falta calor, falta alegria, falta conversa, falta compreensão... eu não sei...

Não sei como pode valer mais uma coisa do que um abraço, um olá, um carinho... eu não sei...

Não sei quais são essas escolhas que estamos a fazer todos os dias, dia após dia, a esperar por milagres, por resultados diferentes quando nós mantemos as mesmas atitudes... Como somos capazes de ainda ter esperança no milagre, se o milagre somos nós e nós escolhemos não fazê-lo?

"To go doesn't mean to arrive. Just mean go longer"

Turning Another Page

Turning another page...

How many pages have the book of our lives?

Nobody knows how long we will live, until we find out a lethal disease or face the dead. But some people live like if all the pages from they’re book are equal, never turning pages, trying to keep the same lines and the same paragraphs as long as possible. How good or how bad is that?

It’s impossible to say which book in the world is the best, some will like ones more than others; some will choose one or another. If we know enough about ourselves we at least will be able to choose what kind of book will be better to us.

I learned what kind of book I like and I’m still learning what kind of book I want to build with the pages of my life. I know by now that I always need to turn pages, create new chapters, and explore all the possibilities around me.

Let’s say that by know I am ready to try a new way to write, maybe a way a big more scary and unknown to me. For many and many years I used to think that I need to feel myself safe and protected, that I need something planed in advance, I used to think that I was able to plan my future and guess what will be the next pages in my life. Now I know this is impossible, at least to me, at least to the kind of book that I want to build with my life.

Why should I pretend that I want a solid work, when all that I want for work is to write? Why should I pretend happiness when people that work with me tells me how responsible and professional I am, when all that I want it’s to write?

I never could make money writing. But I never stopped to write, some kind of passion and hope always shine in my heart enough to make me write every time that I could and when I can. I don’t want or hope to achieve anything writing, just maybe something enough to make me survive – for how many pages I don’t know. (Does anyone know for how many pages will live?)

My English is not good enough to allow me write everything that I want in English. My free time and conditions now doesn’t allow me to write even in Portuguese as much as like to. And I don’t know why today I made this decision, but it’s a decision made. I will write as soon as my job here ends.

Doesn’t matter if I will be writing for everyone or anyone, I will write because of me, because of all these thoughts and these words inside me, screaming to be shared.

Came to me today the idea to count with me and my capacities, take a train by myself to Spain of further than that and give myself some time to write, to scream, to live what is already alive inside me.

How I will survive I don’t know, I tried to find jobs and works with no success, my contract will end, my biologist profession is already far behind me, but I will try to write these new pages to my life, and maybe a new chapter and book will be born.

There is no future. There is only the choices that you do today - you are building your tomorrow right now.